No one is bad

Recently I read Tin Ghumti and Radha,  both of them highlights the superior characteristic of women. After completing those novels, a thought pinned into my head. “ Are all men so cruel, egoistic and disrespectful towards women as portrayed? ”. While this question in my mind, I observed numerous characters of various novels, movies, and series. To my surprise, in most of them, men were portrayed in that way. Maybe this question came as I went through novels where women were protagonists and I might have the exactly opposite question if I am to read novels where men are protagonists. Who knows. But I believe both men and women must have an approximately equal amount of goodness and badness in them though most of the novels failed to provide balance characters.

One of the reasons why men are presented as antagonistic characters might be that most of the societies are male dominant and writers want to write against it. Another reason might be the readers enjoy more to read about feminist struggle and achievements.

Let’s take an example of a fair coin toss. There is an equal probability of getting a head or tail on every toss. Let’s do the coin toss experiment for 50,000 times. If we only look at first 10 or 20 coin toss, count of heads might be greater or vice-versa. But if we look at all the occurrences of head or tail for all 50,000 times then both of them occur almost half of the time.

You might say how does the above example relate to the question that I have posed in the first section. It’s really simple to visualize the relationship between the example and the question. Reading only a few novels and concluding about the character of men or women is like only looking at first 10 or 20 coin toss and predicting that either head or tail occur frequently. But it’s almost impossible for the human to know 50,000 stories and find a conclusion as of the coin toss experiment.

People on average share their personal stories with hundred people. Most of their perception about the flaws of men and women are based on their experience with these few people and they form an opinion which lasts their lifetime. Mother Terese, Florence Nightinagle and many other women are the prime examples of women kindness, love and serving. Likewise, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi and many others men are the prime examples leadership, vision, and determination. But there are millions of people like them if we afford the time and cost to record stories of each of them. All human beings have a unique story to share.

So, it’s not the particular race to blame if we find some imperfection with the person that we are sharing our story or our life. The person with whom you are upset with due to a single or chain of actions is not justifiable. You just ignored all the happy moments with them. You judged them based on what made you upset but you forgot all the moments what made you happy. This happens to all of us as we human has negative bias i.e we are more aware of negative feelings. Past negative experience and thoughts come to mind first then positive experiences. This negative bias played an important role in human survival as it helped us to remember events and experiences that were a threat to us.

We, humans, are special in ourselves. None of us is perfect. So don’t judge others based on the gender or race. Try to be the person you would like to meet. Forgive all the people that you feel have done injustice to you. Life is too short to live with disdain. Do every action without any expectation of the outcome. Follow this and you will see the magic in your life. Thus all humans have equal goodness in each of us. It’s only the perception of others that fluctuate those values based on their personal experiences.


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